The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident
I looked this up tonight. I've heard the word before, mostly because it was the title of a movie back in 2001 (which I would have quoted as the 80's without the help of Google). I never really thought much about the word until I was talking with the career councillor that was paid for by my last employer after getting let go. We were working on my resume and starting to talk about what my career path was. I kind of cut her off and told her that I've never actually had any direction in life, and seem to keep stumbling into things that have ended up going well for me. Right after that I began to say that perhaps I should give a career path and future plans some thought when she smiled and uttered the work 'serendipity'. She indicated that that's the word by which I had led my life, but I never really new what it meant.
What she did say, is that it's OK to approach life like that and that it works for some people. I left that meeting that day feeling proud of myself that I've stumbled through life and have ended up with more than I ever thought I'ld have. A good career, a beautiful loving wife, two beautiful kids with great personalities, a great house, climbing, windsurfing, snowboarding, and the list goes on.
But I have to say, recently I've gotten schooled.
I put a question out there, and as a result I've seen an answer. The topic was related to what I want to do with my career, and the answer was clear as day. Now, the thing is, I've been worried, because now that I've seen this path, I don't want to get stuck in the same grind and end up ultimately failing at what I've seen to be the way. And, to fuel that fear, I'm back at a previous company and getting busy with work that is now streaching full time until April. I've been wondering how I'm ever going to break out of old habbits and have the courage to chase an uncertain path.
Now, here's where the unexpected happened. A management job posting came up. Manager of Mechanical Engineering, or some such title. I've always held a management position as a possibility in the back of my mind. And when I heard of it, and that the preference was to promote interally, I found the idea more than intriguing. On top of that I've had a co-worker tell me, in their opinion, I'm the only qualified person internally for this job.
This is the bit, where making fortunate discoveries by accident pops up to change the direction of my life, as it's done so many times in the past. AKA, Serendipity.
Only this time it's different. I intended to apply for the position, but the vision I had regarding the shape my career will take in the future kept nagging at me. It made me think. Then it reminded me of past experience, and my last job specifically. It reminded me that I really don't like administrative tasks. It reminded me that I'm beginning to realize some core values I have regarding my career.
I just want to build stuff and play with big equipment.
This realization has been great. I would have applied for that positon immediately in the past, and I almost did, but it would have been the wrong path. I know that for certain now. I have a mission statement, it's clear, and it's from the heart. And it helped me avoid a mistake.
The only problem is, I still believe in serendipity, but now I believe in a plan too. And how do I embrace both?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Answers
The thing about real answers is that they are usually different from what you thought the real answer would be. I have the opportunity to really figure out what I want to do with my life, and after a bunch of fumbling about with different ideas that really weren't going anywhere, I finally just asked the question that I was afraid to ask. That fear of asking was a bit of a funny thing. I know now that it wasn't a fear of what the answer would be, but a fear that the answer would not reaveal itself.
Well, the thing about finally asking, is that it forces you to pay attention to what's going on around you. You see, the answer is always there, it just needs to be coaxed out from the noise that is so often life. The attention you've forced yourself to pay to things going on around you opens up a kind of awareness. It starts slow at first. Someone says something in passing that clicks with you as being important to your situation. It looks like a coincidence, for anyone who's read the Celestine Prophesy.
But these coincedences keep happening. They start snowballing until it seems everything and everybody knows just what you need to hear. Those wonderful coincidences . . .
But they are not coincidences!
It's the anwer that you were asking for. The answer that you always had, only you started listening.
It's the Brother in Law that casually says he's made everything he's done for fun into a job, which doesn't bring the same enjoyment. It's a wife that is learning that ego should be shed. It's the fading jealousy of a co-worker who's managing the large projects you would like to manage, because he tells you he's happy he spent the weekend at work. It's the room that the lack of jealousy leaves, that allows you to realize that the detailed work your doing is fun. It's the inspiration while blankly looking at adds in a hocky rink of the path forward in doing something different.
It all leads to a confidence that there is a different way to use my talents. One that lets me walk in a different direction than the mob. The path is so clear that it even provides opportunity to fulfill goals over a longer term.
In a room full of infinite doors, the right door has opened. The only thing left is to walk through and there is no fear, because the next room has an infinite number of doors.
How could you go wrong?
Well, the thing about finally asking, is that it forces you to pay attention to what's going on around you. You see, the answer is always there, it just needs to be coaxed out from the noise that is so often life. The attention you've forced yourself to pay to things going on around you opens up a kind of awareness. It starts slow at first. Someone says something in passing that clicks with you as being important to your situation. It looks like a coincidence, for anyone who's read the Celestine Prophesy.
But these coincedences keep happening. They start snowballing until it seems everything and everybody knows just what you need to hear. Those wonderful coincidences . . .
But they are not coincidences!
It's the anwer that you were asking for. The answer that you always had, only you started listening.
It's the Brother in Law that casually says he's made everything he's done for fun into a job, which doesn't bring the same enjoyment. It's a wife that is learning that ego should be shed. It's the fading jealousy of a co-worker who's managing the large projects you would like to manage, because he tells you he's happy he spent the weekend at work. It's the room that the lack of jealousy leaves, that allows you to realize that the detailed work your doing is fun. It's the inspiration while blankly looking at adds in a hocky rink of the path forward in doing something different.
It all leads to a confidence that there is a different way to use my talents. One that lets me walk in a different direction than the mob. The path is so clear that it even provides opportunity to fulfill goals over a longer term.
In a room full of infinite doors, the right door has opened. The only thing left is to walk through and there is no fear, because the next room has an infinite number of doors.
How could you go wrong?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Waiting Game
Sometimes I find myself waiting for that moment that will change the direction my life is taking. The moment that brings the event that I'll look back on and say that's where everything started to go right. I'm not sure why I do this.
There are other moments when life is perfect and I couldn't possibly think of anything else I could possibly want, or anywhere else I would rather be. Those are the moments when I feel on top of my game, like nothing could go wrong. It's the memory of those moments that makes this 'waiting place' so much more frustrating.
I also think that the expectation that some 'moment' will just deliver an answer I've been waiting for is misguided. Nothing just gets delivered unless it's been asked for. It's the asking that gives the power to recognize the answer. I know that, but I am doing a poor job of putting into action that which I already know.
It seems the thing I'm getting hung up on is what to ask for. I just don't really know what it is that I want. Can I just ask for direction? I guess I could try. Here it goes.
Aside from family, what is most important to me? I would really like to know this. I don't want to continue down the same path indefinately with the feeling that I only have the career I have to fill space until I find out what it is I really want to do. What living can I carve out for myself and my family that isn't work?
There, it's out there. The answer will come.
There are other moments when life is perfect and I couldn't possibly think of anything else I could possibly want, or anywhere else I would rather be. Those are the moments when I feel on top of my game, like nothing could go wrong. It's the memory of those moments that makes this 'waiting place' so much more frustrating.
I also think that the expectation that some 'moment' will just deliver an answer I've been waiting for is misguided. Nothing just gets delivered unless it's been asked for. It's the asking that gives the power to recognize the answer. I know that, but I am doing a poor job of putting into action that which I already know.
It seems the thing I'm getting hung up on is what to ask for. I just don't really know what it is that I want. Can I just ask for direction? I guess I could try. Here it goes.
Aside from family, what is most important to me? I would really like to know this. I don't want to continue down the same path indefinately with the feeling that I only have the career I have to fill space until I find out what it is I really want to do. What living can I carve out for myself and my family that isn't work?
There, it's out there. The answer will come.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Peaks and Valleys
Sometimes keeping a positive outlook on a difficult situation seems difficult. Especially when a negative feeling creeps in and leaves you feeling like you've failed at keeping a positive outlook. Even when that negative feeling is overcome, and you're riding the next high, the high is another peak which eventually leads to another valley.
I had a thought the other day, that paints the posative/negative roller coaster with a mountian metaphor. When you're at the peak of a mountain, there is no where to go but down. When you're sitting in a valley, you can go up, or you can travel along the valley and never really get any higher. In fact, no one lives at the peak of a mountain. People live in the valleys and look up at the peaks. The peaks are there to climb, but you always end up going down again.
I think this sort of speaks to highs and lows emotionally. At least with my experience. I guess I don't feel that I live at a peak. I certainly visit those peaks. Sometimes the visits are more frequent than other times, but life seems to be lived in the valley.
I've read a lot books which talk about abundance of whatever you like, including wealth, happiness, spirituality and the like. I wonder if anyone ever attains life at the peak of a mountain? Is it something that's possible? It seems that the people presenting the information have attained this, but I wonder?
I guess, and this has just occured to me, that when you are at the peak of a mountain, there is NO WHERE to go but down. This means that UP isn't an option either.
For me, challenge is crutial in life. I'm not sure I know how to get by without some sort of challenge ahead of me. I guess, living life at the top of that metaphorical mountain doesn't provide the opportunity for more challenge. There is no more up.
I guess that means that living in the valley leaves you surrounded with challenges. The opportunity is there to pick the one you want, take it on, and then return to the valley to rest for the next challenge.
Maybe the trick is the frequency at which you take on the peaks. I don't think you even have to get to the peak every time for the benifit. Just wandering up from the valley to get a little higher, to have a little better view, enriches life. So maybe those who seem to live their life at the peak just get out of the valley more often.
I've also had the thought that although getting out of the valley is great, you can't really see the breadth of peaks beyond what you see from the valley floor without being on top of another peak. Of course the higher the peak, the more you see. So, the bigger the challenge you succeed with, the more opportunity you are able to see.
Although I had the initial thought earlier, the one about 'no where to go from a peak but down', the rest didn't come until now. Funny, that at the time, the thought I had concluded that the valley was a depressing place to be, but I see now that it's not. The roller coaster life takes you on is vitally important. If you were at the top all the time, that would become common place. There would be no reward in continually being there.
I think that leads me to believe that living at the top would get kind of boring.
I had a thought the other day, that paints the posative/negative roller coaster with a mountian metaphor. When you're at the peak of a mountain, there is no where to go but down. When you're sitting in a valley, you can go up, or you can travel along the valley and never really get any higher. In fact, no one lives at the peak of a mountain. People live in the valleys and look up at the peaks. The peaks are there to climb, but you always end up going down again.
I think this sort of speaks to highs and lows emotionally. At least with my experience. I guess I don't feel that I live at a peak. I certainly visit those peaks. Sometimes the visits are more frequent than other times, but life seems to be lived in the valley.
I've read a lot books which talk about abundance of whatever you like, including wealth, happiness, spirituality and the like. I wonder if anyone ever attains life at the peak of a mountain? Is it something that's possible? It seems that the people presenting the information have attained this, but I wonder?
I guess, and this has just occured to me, that when you are at the peak of a mountain, there is NO WHERE to go but down. This means that UP isn't an option either.
For me, challenge is crutial in life. I'm not sure I know how to get by without some sort of challenge ahead of me. I guess, living life at the top of that metaphorical mountain doesn't provide the opportunity for more challenge. There is no more up.
I guess that means that living in the valley leaves you surrounded with challenges. The opportunity is there to pick the one you want, take it on, and then return to the valley to rest for the next challenge.
Maybe the trick is the frequency at which you take on the peaks. I don't think you even have to get to the peak every time for the benifit. Just wandering up from the valley to get a little higher, to have a little better view, enriches life. So maybe those who seem to live their life at the peak just get out of the valley more often.
I've also had the thought that although getting out of the valley is great, you can't really see the breadth of peaks beyond what you see from the valley floor without being on top of another peak. Of course the higher the peak, the more you see. So, the bigger the challenge you succeed with, the more opportunity you are able to see.
Although I had the initial thought earlier, the one about 'no where to go from a peak but down', the rest didn't come until now. Funny, that at the time, the thought I had concluded that the valley was a depressing place to be, but I see now that it's not. The roller coaster life takes you on is vitally important. If you were at the top all the time, that would become common place. There would be no reward in continually being there.
I think that leads me to believe that living at the top would get kind of boring.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
What is the Challenge?
I don't want to say it's a problem, cause I've been watching this show with my wife regarding getting rid of excuses from one's life. So let's say that one of the challenges of being unemployed is being able to stay posative all the time. I do believe that mood, feelings and thoughts can guide what happens to a person from what's seen as outside influences. So, with that belief the trick is to be and feel posative about what I want out of the next 6 months.
I guess the challenge here is that I'm not sure what I want out of the next 6 months, especially when I realize that it may affect what I do with my next 15 years career wise. A lot of ideas have been racing around between the old ears. When the ideas pop up, it's really a great spot to be in. Creative energy is flowing, which leads to new, bigger ideas and the whole thing has sort of a postive snowball effect that leaves me feeling on top of the world. Eventually though, the creation of these ideas slows down and stops.
Trying to pick up on the same ideas later just doesn't seem to bring the same fire, as the initial thoughts brought.
I guess that's not entirely true. I do get excited about some thoughts continuously. Maybe these are the ones that need pursuing? Well, they are probably most definately the ones that need pursuing. I guess maybe this is where the challenge comes in. The thoughts that produce continued excitement are not the ones that lead in the same path as the one I know.
That's kind of scarry for just that reason. It's the unknown. And I'm not certain how to bring the unkown into reality.
There is the quote by Martin Luther King Jr. that says, "Take the first step in faith . . . you don't have to see the whole stair case, just take the first step." It's a great quote and speaks volumes, especially with the problem of bringing the unknown into reality, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. That's sad, because it's only fear that holds a person back.
Maybe the first step in that faith for the moment is to continue to let the ideas flow. That's brought about answers in the past for our family, and it can certainly happen again. Is that the challenge then for now?
I guess the challenge here is that I'm not sure what I want out of the next 6 months, especially when I realize that it may affect what I do with my next 15 years career wise. A lot of ideas have been racing around between the old ears. When the ideas pop up, it's really a great spot to be in. Creative energy is flowing, which leads to new, bigger ideas and the whole thing has sort of a postive snowball effect that leaves me feeling on top of the world. Eventually though, the creation of these ideas slows down and stops.
Trying to pick up on the same ideas later just doesn't seem to bring the same fire, as the initial thoughts brought.
I guess that's not entirely true. I do get excited about some thoughts continuously. Maybe these are the ones that need pursuing? Well, they are probably most definately the ones that need pursuing. I guess maybe this is where the challenge comes in. The thoughts that produce continued excitement are not the ones that lead in the same path as the one I know.
That's kind of scarry for just that reason. It's the unknown. And I'm not certain how to bring the unkown into reality.
There is the quote by Martin Luther King Jr. that says, "Take the first step in faith . . . you don't have to see the whole stair case, just take the first step." It's a great quote and speaks volumes, especially with the problem of bringing the unknown into reality, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. That's sad, because it's only fear that holds a person back.
Maybe the first step in that faith for the moment is to continue to let the ideas flow. That's brought about answers in the past for our family, and it can certainly happen again. Is that the challenge then for now?
Monday, August 17, 2009
At Home
Got the opportunity to drive out to Canmore on Saturday for our Condo Association board meeting. It provided an excellent opportunity to get out and stretch my legs. After calling all my climbing buddies, and no one being available, I decided to go on a bit of a quick scramble.
I ended up choosing the East End of Rundle over Ha Ling. Mostly because EEOR has a bit more hands on scrambling than the straight forward hike up Ha Ling. It's also a bit longer, and it's always nice to test the fitness. I made the summit in 1 hour and 11 minutes which is about 20 minutes faster than any other time I've been on this mountain. Guess the fitness is all right.
Sitting at the summit and having lunch felt "normal". It was a bit of an odd feeling, but a very nice one. It's been so long since I've done any sort of frequent scrambling or hiking, that I wasn't sure I would feel at home on the verticle terrain. But sitting on the edge of a bit of a drop off and eating a sandwich felt just right. Looking across the bowl at the top to some sheer verticle cliffs didn't produce the same feeling of intimidation as usual. The best way to explain it was just feeling at home. Kind of like things are as they should be. It was comforting.
The way down got tiring, but maybe the best part of the whole thing was dunking my head in the cold water of White Man's Pond at the base before getting into the car and driving home. So, comfortable and refreshed, off home I went. Great day in all.
I ended up choosing the East End of Rundle over Ha Ling. Mostly because EEOR has a bit more hands on scrambling than the straight forward hike up Ha Ling. It's also a bit longer, and it's always nice to test the fitness. I made the summit in 1 hour and 11 minutes which is about 20 minutes faster than any other time I've been on this mountain. Guess the fitness is all right.
Sitting at the summit and having lunch felt "normal". It was a bit of an odd feeling, but a very nice one. It's been so long since I've done any sort of frequent scrambling or hiking, that I wasn't sure I would feel at home on the verticle terrain. But sitting on the edge of a bit of a drop off and eating a sandwich felt just right. Looking across the bowl at the top to some sheer verticle cliffs didn't produce the same feeling of intimidation as usual. The best way to explain it was just feeling at home. Kind of like things are as they should be. It was comforting.
The way down got tiring, but maybe the best part of the whole thing was dunking my head in the cold water of White Man's Pond at the base before getting into the car and driving home. So, comfortable and refreshed, off home I went. Great day in all.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
It's not supposed to be easy
When you work out with weights, if it feels easy, you're not improving. When you go for a run, if you don't strive to run progressively faster, there will be little improvement after a while. Climbing a route that's easy for you, doesn't eventually get you up that amazing looking hard line to the right of where you are. Same for jibing on a windsurf board. You just don't do it one day because you watched others do it. You have to fall in the water time and time again, swear, throw a fit, and maybe in your next 25 tries you'll get it.
Marriage seems to follow this rule to. When it's tough, and you get through it, it sets the bar at that level. When something else tough comes along, you know you've already made it over that bar. Even if the bar has to move up, it's moving up from higher than it would of, if things hadn't been hard in the past.
I guess the point is, LIFE is supposed to be hard.
Life can be easy I guess. But I wonder what one would think about a life of ease that is at its end when on the death bed. To me anyway, easy sort of fits in with not taking risks or challenges. Risk is just that, Risk. There is a chance of failure, humiliation, and a host of other hard to endur emotions. But, risk can also bring great reward. So if the risk pays off 50% of the time, 25% of the time, do you end up ahead?
Well, it's 25% or 50% more reward than you would have had without trying at all. Maybe the more risk you take, the better you get at making the results successful. Reward would lead to more reward.
It's still risk though, and the failures may be bigger. I suppose it's the individuals choice on whether the risk is worth it. I guess it's the evenutual events of failure that make life hard then. But if it's not hard, it doesn't get better.
So I'll take the risk, and deal with the hardship that arises with open arms.
Marriage seems to follow this rule to. When it's tough, and you get through it, it sets the bar at that level. When something else tough comes along, you know you've already made it over that bar. Even if the bar has to move up, it's moving up from higher than it would of, if things hadn't been hard in the past.
I guess the point is, LIFE is supposed to be hard.
Life can be easy I guess. But I wonder what one would think about a life of ease that is at its end when on the death bed. To me anyway, easy sort of fits in with not taking risks or challenges. Risk is just that, Risk. There is a chance of failure, humiliation, and a host of other hard to endur emotions. But, risk can also bring great reward. So if the risk pays off 50% of the time, 25% of the time, do you end up ahead?
Well, it's 25% or 50% more reward than you would have had without trying at all. Maybe the more risk you take, the better you get at making the results successful. Reward would lead to more reward.
It's still risk though, and the failures may be bigger. I suppose it's the individuals choice on whether the risk is worth it. I guess it's the evenutual events of failure that make life hard then. But if it's not hard, it doesn't get better.
So I'll take the risk, and deal with the hardship that arises with open arms.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
The Beginning
I never thought cleaning could be so theraputic.
I find myself in a situation where I'm suddenly without a job, which wasn't entirely of my own choice. Among the flood of feelings that comes with an event such as your own employment termination, is the sudden sense of self worthlessness. Well, maybe not so harsh as worthlessness, but you wake up every morning with something to do when you have a job. Whether you go to work and have a good day, or a bad day, be productive or have an off day, there was still some purpose. You were needed, people relied on you, and even if it was an off day, you probably helped someone else with their problems. Then, suddenly it's not there.
Fortunately for me at the time, which is now, I was/am in a pretty good head space. Enough to know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. So, there have been a lot of things around the house that are looked at on a daily basis. The kind of things that provoke the thought, "I'll get to that another time." That thought that lasts as long as the glance as you're walking by. Well, it's really a perfect fit. Lack of purpose, and things that need to get done (although need is a strong word considering the number of times the passing glance and thought have happened over the years).
The there's the other motive. The one that tells me part of the termination was due to my organization and work habits. Not so much directly, but maybe if I had been more organized, I could have been more effective in getting to some of the little things that I didn't. Those little things defined by some piece of paper on your desk, which you catch out of the corner of your eye provoking the thought that you should get to it at some point. All in all, I don't know for sure if that was the reason, but still, it's something that's been nagging that part of me that drives self improvement to improve.
So what a better place to begin the left turn life has dealt than to get to those tasks that are so often passed by. There were two benifits to this at first or so I thought. The first was the not so obvious one. A desire to build new habits to help my organization and effectivenss in my work so I don't run into this situation again, if that was the reason. That desire manifested itself in a strong desire to get things in order at home. Ends up the list is quite long. The second more obvious reason is, of course, I have the time so I might as well get to those things that need doing, and then they'll be done.
I started in the Den. What happens when you clean the Den, is the requirement to look in detail at every piece of paper, picture, card, burnt CD, etc. because there is the odd bit of important stuff in the Den which can't be thrown out. Guess I didn't realize what the important stuff is.
It started with a letter my sister wrote to me at Christmas one year, well, many years ago. I cried while reading it. Then I ran across a DVD a climbing buddy had made of our trip to Red Rocks, and another of a scramble up Mt. Baldy. Then, on an unlabled CD was a video I made of windsurfing down at Old Man Dam. Then there's all the small stuff in passing. Putting away picures of climbing in Skaha, while my wife and I were still dating, unlabled music mix CD's which I later realized were made for our wedding, boxes of pictures from past adventures, our wedding, and the list goes on. Sadly, the thought was there that I should come back and go through all this stuff.
Just realized that it's the same passing thought I described above.
So here's what's happened tonight. I have this life which included a career. Although that career is not over, everything has been thrown into flux. For the this moment and several more to follow, the life I had Tuesday morning at 7:30 am has ended. This evening I accidently stumbled into the memories of the path I took to get where I am. I'm realizing there's a fundamental difference between then and now.
I think I like then better.
I find myself in a situation where I'm suddenly without a job, which wasn't entirely of my own choice. Among the flood of feelings that comes with an event such as your own employment termination, is the sudden sense of self worthlessness. Well, maybe not so harsh as worthlessness, but you wake up every morning with something to do when you have a job. Whether you go to work and have a good day, or a bad day, be productive or have an off day, there was still some purpose. You were needed, people relied on you, and even if it was an off day, you probably helped someone else with their problems. Then, suddenly it's not there.
Fortunately for me at the time, which is now, I was/am in a pretty good head space. Enough to know that I can't sit around and feel sorry for myself. So, there have been a lot of things around the house that are looked at on a daily basis. The kind of things that provoke the thought, "I'll get to that another time." That thought that lasts as long as the glance as you're walking by. Well, it's really a perfect fit. Lack of purpose, and things that need to get done (although need is a strong word considering the number of times the passing glance and thought have happened over the years).
The there's the other motive. The one that tells me part of the termination was due to my organization and work habits. Not so much directly, but maybe if I had been more organized, I could have been more effective in getting to some of the little things that I didn't. Those little things defined by some piece of paper on your desk, which you catch out of the corner of your eye provoking the thought that you should get to it at some point. All in all, I don't know for sure if that was the reason, but still, it's something that's been nagging that part of me that drives self improvement to improve.
So what a better place to begin the left turn life has dealt than to get to those tasks that are so often passed by. There were two benifits to this at first or so I thought. The first was the not so obvious one. A desire to build new habits to help my organization and effectivenss in my work so I don't run into this situation again, if that was the reason. That desire manifested itself in a strong desire to get things in order at home. Ends up the list is quite long. The second more obvious reason is, of course, I have the time so I might as well get to those things that need doing, and then they'll be done.
I started in the Den. What happens when you clean the Den, is the requirement to look in detail at every piece of paper, picture, card, burnt CD, etc. because there is the odd bit of important stuff in the Den which can't be thrown out. Guess I didn't realize what the important stuff is.
It started with a letter my sister wrote to me at Christmas one year, well, many years ago. I cried while reading it. Then I ran across a DVD a climbing buddy had made of our trip to Red Rocks, and another of a scramble up Mt. Baldy. Then, on an unlabled CD was a video I made of windsurfing down at Old Man Dam. Then there's all the small stuff in passing. Putting away picures of climbing in Skaha, while my wife and I were still dating, unlabled music mix CD's which I later realized were made for our wedding, boxes of pictures from past adventures, our wedding, and the list goes on. Sadly, the thought was there that I should come back and go through all this stuff.
Just realized that it's the same passing thought I described above.
So here's what's happened tonight. I have this life which included a career. Although that career is not over, everything has been thrown into flux. For the this moment and several more to follow, the life I had Tuesday morning at 7:30 am has ended. This evening I accidently stumbled into the memories of the path I took to get where I am. I'm realizing there's a fundamental difference between then and now.
I think I like then better.
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