Sometimes I find myself waiting for that moment that will change the direction my life is taking. The moment that brings the event that I'll look back on and say that's where everything started to go right. I'm not sure why I do this.
There are other moments when life is perfect and I couldn't possibly think of anything else I could possibly want, or anywhere else I would rather be. Those are the moments when I feel on top of my game, like nothing could go wrong. It's the memory of those moments that makes this 'waiting place' so much more frustrating.
I also think that the expectation that some 'moment' will just deliver an answer I've been waiting for is misguided. Nothing just gets delivered unless it's been asked for. It's the asking that gives the power to recognize the answer. I know that, but I am doing a poor job of putting into action that which I already know.
It seems the thing I'm getting hung up on is what to ask for. I just don't really know what it is that I want. Can I just ask for direction? I guess I could try. Here it goes.
Aside from family, what is most important to me? I would really like to know this. I don't want to continue down the same path indefinately with the feeling that I only have the career I have to fill space until I find out what it is I really want to do. What living can I carve out for myself and my family that isn't work?
There, it's out there. The answer will come.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Peaks and Valleys
Sometimes keeping a positive outlook on a difficult situation seems difficult. Especially when a negative feeling creeps in and leaves you feeling like you've failed at keeping a positive outlook. Even when that negative feeling is overcome, and you're riding the next high, the high is another peak which eventually leads to another valley.
I had a thought the other day, that paints the posative/negative roller coaster with a mountian metaphor. When you're at the peak of a mountain, there is no where to go but down. When you're sitting in a valley, you can go up, or you can travel along the valley and never really get any higher. In fact, no one lives at the peak of a mountain. People live in the valleys and look up at the peaks. The peaks are there to climb, but you always end up going down again.
I think this sort of speaks to highs and lows emotionally. At least with my experience. I guess I don't feel that I live at a peak. I certainly visit those peaks. Sometimes the visits are more frequent than other times, but life seems to be lived in the valley.
I've read a lot books which talk about abundance of whatever you like, including wealth, happiness, spirituality and the like. I wonder if anyone ever attains life at the peak of a mountain? Is it something that's possible? It seems that the people presenting the information have attained this, but I wonder?
I guess, and this has just occured to me, that when you are at the peak of a mountain, there is NO WHERE to go but down. This means that UP isn't an option either.
For me, challenge is crutial in life. I'm not sure I know how to get by without some sort of challenge ahead of me. I guess, living life at the top of that metaphorical mountain doesn't provide the opportunity for more challenge. There is no more up.
I guess that means that living in the valley leaves you surrounded with challenges. The opportunity is there to pick the one you want, take it on, and then return to the valley to rest for the next challenge.
Maybe the trick is the frequency at which you take on the peaks. I don't think you even have to get to the peak every time for the benifit. Just wandering up from the valley to get a little higher, to have a little better view, enriches life. So maybe those who seem to live their life at the peak just get out of the valley more often.
I've also had the thought that although getting out of the valley is great, you can't really see the breadth of peaks beyond what you see from the valley floor without being on top of another peak. Of course the higher the peak, the more you see. So, the bigger the challenge you succeed with, the more opportunity you are able to see.
Although I had the initial thought earlier, the one about 'no where to go from a peak but down', the rest didn't come until now. Funny, that at the time, the thought I had concluded that the valley was a depressing place to be, but I see now that it's not. The roller coaster life takes you on is vitally important. If you were at the top all the time, that would become common place. There would be no reward in continually being there.
I think that leads me to believe that living at the top would get kind of boring.
I had a thought the other day, that paints the posative/negative roller coaster with a mountian metaphor. When you're at the peak of a mountain, there is no where to go but down. When you're sitting in a valley, you can go up, or you can travel along the valley and never really get any higher. In fact, no one lives at the peak of a mountain. People live in the valleys and look up at the peaks. The peaks are there to climb, but you always end up going down again.
I think this sort of speaks to highs and lows emotionally. At least with my experience. I guess I don't feel that I live at a peak. I certainly visit those peaks. Sometimes the visits are more frequent than other times, but life seems to be lived in the valley.
I've read a lot books which talk about abundance of whatever you like, including wealth, happiness, spirituality and the like. I wonder if anyone ever attains life at the peak of a mountain? Is it something that's possible? It seems that the people presenting the information have attained this, but I wonder?
I guess, and this has just occured to me, that when you are at the peak of a mountain, there is NO WHERE to go but down. This means that UP isn't an option either.
For me, challenge is crutial in life. I'm not sure I know how to get by without some sort of challenge ahead of me. I guess, living life at the top of that metaphorical mountain doesn't provide the opportunity for more challenge. There is no more up.
I guess that means that living in the valley leaves you surrounded with challenges. The opportunity is there to pick the one you want, take it on, and then return to the valley to rest for the next challenge.
Maybe the trick is the frequency at which you take on the peaks. I don't think you even have to get to the peak every time for the benifit. Just wandering up from the valley to get a little higher, to have a little better view, enriches life. So maybe those who seem to live their life at the peak just get out of the valley more often.
I've also had the thought that although getting out of the valley is great, you can't really see the breadth of peaks beyond what you see from the valley floor without being on top of another peak. Of course the higher the peak, the more you see. So, the bigger the challenge you succeed with, the more opportunity you are able to see.
Although I had the initial thought earlier, the one about 'no where to go from a peak but down', the rest didn't come until now. Funny, that at the time, the thought I had concluded that the valley was a depressing place to be, but I see now that it's not. The roller coaster life takes you on is vitally important. If you were at the top all the time, that would become common place. There would be no reward in continually being there.
I think that leads me to believe that living at the top would get kind of boring.
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